Illusion of thought

It rose first as the twilight of a thought, but as the moments passed, he began to think of it in more solid forms, a block of plain granite being struck with hammers, creating negative space, filling the void of the idea with a more concrete image, the chisel into the softer aspects, finally polishing the most delicate parts. He ran upstairs to the light. He stood alone in the empty room, devoid of inspiration, or distraction depending on his mood. His was a short visage of a middle aged man with a moppish bundle of thick wavy hair, darker than the unlit stairwell that lead to this brightly lit room, dressed plainly in khaki pants and a T-shirt that welcomed the challenge to void warranties, and well worn sandals. Seamless, the floor, the walls, the ceiling, all brightly lit, painfully but coldly bright, making one stand silent with eyes closed, the red image of his retina's blood supply burning into his mind.

The brightness forced him to focus his thoughts, from their usual random stammer to a cohesive discourse. This notion of free will... where does a thought actually come from? Did I chose a thought, or did it just come to mind? From where? Why can I not stop them if they are mine to control? Why do I like blue, or mexican food, or classical guitar? When I decide in my mind between things, did I choose? The voice that is talking to me now... if that is my voice, as I am talking in my mind, to whom am I talking? Why do I not choose my next thought? Is my subconcious in control, my consciousness just an illusion? He asked me to chose a city. Boston, no, Paris. Why Paris, not Boston, and of all the cities I know, why these two? Am I free to chose cities I do not know? Why does a murderer murder, while another does not? Could the murderer, with its mind shaped by genes and experience, can it really take a different path, do something different in the same circumstances? Or was its decisions forced by its physiology? Am I making choices, is choice, free will, real, or is there only the illusion of choice? Do I choose what I will do next, when an fMRI can show the decision formed seconds ago, before I was even aware? My subconcious chooses before I even know I will choose! What about the things I do that I did not want to? How do we know what, who, is in control? Which am I, cause or effect?

He opened his eyes...