It was that time of year when he thought about these sorts of things. This time it came with many horses to jump, from one to the other, in the middle of the proverbial stream. He might fall, miss, and drown. At the very least suffer mighty embarassment. No matter, change was coming, and it did not consider him an obstacle. Add to that his feeling that he should have beat this last horse to within an inch of its life, and you can see the kind of damage that had come to his calm. It annoyed him really as he wasn't much of a horse beater. Maybe it was just the few horse flies he really would have enjoyed squashing, because really, the horse while not perfect, saggy and lazy, was not too bad of a horse. At any rate, it was time to move on...
He looked both ways down the garage before crosssing, not to see if cars were coming, but to see if anyone else wanted to say goodbye that he would feel compelled to duck out on. He was not one for goodbyes, not least because of all these changes that crowded his mind, but mostly because he had lost the ability to trust where people were coming from after being here. These past years had been hard on him emotionally because he could not often tell to which of Janus' faces he was talking. Most were truly good people, but the horse flies fit themselves in with practiced passive aggression so well as to be indiscernible. He missed this most of all... trusting, allowing himself to trust, to fall and not be kicked, to catch and not be betrayed. It saddened him, as he made his away across the street, that this was the legacy he took with him, and not those kind, sweet memories he had also enjoyed. "One oh-shitter wiped out a hundred atta-boys," as his Chief used to say. He made his way to his car, tossed his last things in, and got in. He sat there for several minutes. He was troubled. It didn't feel sad finally leaving and this bothered him. The sadness had been spilt when he said goodbye these past few days to those he had come to love and in some way trust. But not now as he was actually leaving. He felt as he left there would be a few ripples in the bucket that had been this place, but then they would wane and no one would recall his ever having been there.
He started the car, pulled into the lane, turned the corner and drove out one last time. This horse was dead and he had successfully dismounted. He smiled... look, no horse flies.
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