Feed the Yang

I had begun to think of my life as something to avoid. It wasn’t that I was, or am, depressed; it’s just that I have tired so much of all the competition, everything is a struggle of everyone trying to win over someone else. Yet, every morning I would wake up and there it was. Unavoidable. There is, of course, the illusion of escape found in the depths of a good book, the tunnel of a good movie or TV show, my moments alone. But each and every time I would emerge and there was my life, waiting like the cool kid, leaning on the wall, sipping a soda looking at me over the top of its sunglasses as if to ask, “Wuzzup?” I sigh, shake my head at the “ineffable plan” and carry on. The kid isn’t bad, really, it just is. But with all its kind as a whole, that is where the ugliness thrives.

We imagine that life was once better. It wasn’t. It just… wasn’t. Our history is one of dark cognitive dissonance, of nonsensical juxtapositions of what we claim to be, and what we actually are. We, more specifically, are Americans, that special breed of exceptionalism in all things human, but in reality as a whole we are ugly and sordid. We are the ultimate social experiment, the wannabe melting pot that turns out to be a salad bowl with some weird fruit thrown in and something sticky at the bottom. We are the incarnation of humanity, all of its foibles, its sweetness and its rot. The magic was supposed to be that we were the ones who were going to make that okay, the beacon of humanity’s future. Despite ourselves we would agree to be better to and for one another, for all. We had a shining path illuminated for us provided by our revered Constitution and the ideals it represents, arguably the most ambitious and profound of human inventions, and though we stumbled, the Law, Justice, Equality of all peoples, no matter who or what, that was what gave us and the world faith in our better selves. But those struggles to be who we claimed to be, those terrible travesties and internecine battles, our dark and monstrous, shamefully hidden-in-the-closet history on human rights, these were the signs that we were no better than the earliest of our kind who functioned on base instincts trying to walk upright in physique and psyche. We failed to overcome our human nature. Our knuckles are calloused and abrased.

We break into two tribes, we Americans, but I imagine worldwide, one moving forward, excited, one looking back, afraid. We call these tribes Progressives and Conservatives. They are as real as mom’s apple pie. While other tribes have claimed exception, really they were and are variations of the same aria. They are not new tribes; our human nature has always been Yin and Yang, always dichotomous. Since the days of fire, stone, and caves, we have been those who felt safety was the thing, that staying in the cave, staying within our comfort zones, being afraid of what lie out there, feeling overwhelmingly powerless against our nature, and nature, taking succor in what was known, rather than what could be, and we have been those who sought to walk in the open, to walk to the other side through some darkness, to challenge the fear of claw and tooth, seeking better ways to live, love and become. These are literally Yin, and Yang.

The Yin function in environments of structure, control, dominance, and flowing through it all, fear. Fear is The Force. They operate on basal instinct, basal needs, fundamental and predictable, controllable. It’s as if the cortex never need be, notions are not tested by reason, in fact, reason jeopardizes belief, faith in dogma, order and control; it’s all brainstem, all the time. Throughout our entire history these have been the fear mongers, the Witch hunters, the Inquisitors, the controllers, the persuaders through emotion. Fear is their succor and gaslighting themselves and others maintains it. Fear gives them purpose, they exist to control their fears while, not ironically, stoking them, justifying them, and to make sure others share those fears. Safety is in group fear. They create monsters, reasons not to change, reasons not to leave the cave, or let anyone else in. They create magic and stories to assuage their fears, as they need to control their nature and the nature that surrounds them. They are afraid not just of nature out there, but of their own nature, often needing to make even their own body and its functions frightening, evil things. Their leaders are those who, for power and control, best sell the fear, uniting under shared fear. Life is staying alive. Since reason is not used to measure their world, they do not understand it, they fear it. Reason is to be feared as it illuminates fear, and without fear, the Yin is lost, and more afraid. The Dogma, the Mantra, that is where safety lived and fear held at bay. Fear is the Yin, the Yin is fear. Fear explains everything. Stay in the cave, don’t let anything in, repeat and never question the Dogma.

The Yang are the troublemakers. They are the wanderers. As toddlers they were found beyond the opening of the cave in wonder, only to be snatched back by a Yin. Always the Yin with the snatching... New is exciting, fear is a challenge, everything is a wondrous experience and the more the better. The Yang doesn’t need to understand, that may come and they seek it, but it does not slow them. They need to experience and enjoy. They die young, and often, but travel far and know much. They welcome the unknown and the unknowable, and seek to use reason, study and humanity to be better at exploring their ever better selves. Their leaders are thoughtful, reasoned, worldly, inclusive and as diverse as they are. They know the self is myriad, and that this is okay. Lack of understanding is not a reason to fear. They celebrate diversity no matter how uncomfortable because that leads to discovery and understanding, a better, more forward moving humanity. To move beyond the self they must be compassionate as they need compassion themselves to thrive, and that is the reason for life, to thrive. They appreciate the different for they recognize and revel in being different themselves. They seek chaos for its wonder, not its darkness, they find succor in letting go of what they “know” for what they can understand. These are our explorers, inventors, thinkers, writers, artists, our ruffians and scoundrels, all of the things that paint the better us! They are not fearless, but they are not fools. Reason enlightens, it propels, it empowers, it changes its mind, its way of thinking as it learns. Thought is their Force, an ever changing, ever wandering Diogenes.

But the Yin are not all joyless, the Yang not all happiness. Like all things, all is variation on the theme. But nevertheless, these paradigms serve, and they illuminate what, who and why we are today. We are, if nothing else, creatures of habit. Always, we struggle to leave the ways of the cave, and move into the light, all the while fighting off those who would snatch us back. World history, American history, Yin versus Yang. While certainly simplistic, it illuminates why we are who we are, and not who we want to be. Humanity’s base nature is Yin, our better nature is Yang. Yin keeps us alive, Yang give us reason to live.

The competition between our natures is destroying the beacon we could be to the world. From the moment we are born, Yin and Yang fight for our very souls, and these two wolves turmoil within tearing at the fabric of our psyche. Everything becomes a competition. Power and Control, in every single thing we do, say or act. Every relationship is governed by Power and Control, the Yin want it, the Yang are aggrieved of it.  As the Native American lore mythically shared, “The wolf who lives is the one you feed.”  Today, sadly, we are feeding the angry, hateful, Yin Wolf, and instead of keeping us alive, it will kill us all.

So I am tired, tired of reading, hearing, seeing the Yin versus the Yang. Tired of being snatched by the Yin, for I am Yang and I abhor their world of fear. I am tired of fear creating loathing, more fear, and death. I want fear to unite us, not to destroy it, but to explore and embrace it, to become a better us because with it. I want us to all understand we are all afraid, but that we should not be of one another. That will not always end well for us, but reason can protect. What we do with the fear differs if we feed the Yin or the Yang. Our better selves, our humanity, lies within leaving the Yin behind and making the Yang the human nature. Seek understanding rather than protection, seek progress rather than regression. Be willing to make mistakes when making someone else’s life better. Its not pie… there is more when we share. Feed the Yang.