The Thomas Problem

Wendell came in nervously, for nothing was more annoying than a good example, according to Mark Twain, and Thomas was quite annoying.

"You've upset her", he said, without tremor, unknowing fists of fear forced deeply into his pockets.

"I suppose I have."

"You drove her to tears."

"Easily done", Thomas replied, unmoved, continuing his work.

"Thomas, she says you berated her publically, humiliating her!"

"I am sure it could happen no other way. She picked a public argument".

"And you..."

Thomas, having heard quite enough, interrupted Wendell's planned diatribe. "Wendell! This is a Mary problem, not a Thomas problem. You may continue to try to fix your perceived Thomas problem, but it will remain a Mary problem no less."

"Thomas, you have created problems before..."

"Again, with making your Mary problem a Thomas problem. Who was it before me, Wendell? I believe it was a Duncan problem? You brought me here to solve problems. I am trying, desperately, to no avail. This game of Mary's is quite old and familiar. Truly addressing your Mary problem means admitting you have made some terrible mistakes, something you are clearly not wont to do, for as I discover them, you beat me with them. I tire of being your and Mary's scapegoat on whom you write all your problems, such that by solving your singular Thomas problem, you will have solved all of your myriad problems". Thomas stood abuptly, causing Wendell to step back. Thomas pulled quickly at his waistcoat, and walked up to Wendell as he made for the door.

"Wendell, your failings have created quite a morass. I suggest you find your courage, admit your failings like a man, confront Mary's childish behavior, and we can all get on with our lives. No one cares except Mary, and anyone she cries to, who seek to cover their own failings. Good day, sir."

Wendell watched him leave, mouth and mind agape. He had never known a more unreasonable man.

The following morning Thomas was sacked, and Wendell felt profound for having solved all of his problems in a singular stroke. He was quite proud of himself.